Those powerful little words...

I wrote the following piece a few months ago, but the ideas placed below still prove to be true.

The romance department has proved to be a rollercoaster, but I'm positive that I will find a truly complementary man. Vulnerability is a difficult path to take, and so it’s rarely exposed.

It is not safe to assume that anybody has forged themselves a simple path. In fact, bridges are built every direction. I tested the waters of many, then soon realized I am only one person, that I can only follow one path. I quickly set fire to those  countless bridges, and chose to walk straight, blindly.

I constantly remind myself that I am unique; just like everybody else. While looking at humanity as a whole, it is easy to believe we’re spinning images of one another. The arbitrary social norms have us walk the same, talk the same, eat the same, and sleep the same. But upon looking in the mirror, I found resolute righteousness. Somebody I loved.

You have to love yourself before you can find that undeniable passion with another. You know, the kind of love that sends your heart jolting, setting the beat apace. I thought I had found that kind of love, but destiny knocked me back into place. So here I am, patiently waiting for the day when I know how it feels to love somebody more than myself. Love that person more than life itself. Luck will find its way into my heart, and for that, I’m desperately longing.

And there it was; what I had been longing for. Right in front of me. His eloquence caught me off guard. My eyes remained fixed on how his lips separated brilliantly as each word was spoken. Although I felt the distance between us, my connection to him was magnetic; defied all gravity. I slipped my hand onto the knee next to mine and grasped it tightly due to pure awe. I’d found what I’d been searching for, or so I thought.

Days went by with no contact. After all, he wasn’t even aware of my existence. No problem. I made him aware. We soon became acquainted, and bantered with one another. During an evening under the brilliant night sky, the flirtation level sky-rocketed. Romance bloomed, and the seven letter word that changed everything occurred: k i s s i n g. To me, it was serendipitous. For him, completely and utterly unexpected.

Things soon changed. Confusion set in. Romance became one-sided, and eventually dissipated into thin air. If only there was a way to put into words what I felt; what I’m feeling. However, it is a feeling that is rather indescribable. The friendship remains, and for that I am sincerely grateful.

Perhaps nobody has ever asked what kind of fantasies make you weak in the knees. Let’s face it: They shouldn’t dare ask me – Not everybody has a cast-iron stomach. However, the energy as of late has encouraged me to come to a realization of my perfect fantasy. This has proven difficult because I have a knack of pretending that I’m totally turned off, when I’m totally turned on.

Instead of trying to make myself ‘perfect’ for someone else, I’ve began to look for the person who’s willing to accept me as I am. Even if I’m not seeking a life partnership, I still want somebody who’ll sincerely want to get to me; the real me. It’s time to shrug off judgments from those who don’t matter. The single life is hard enough without taking these totally avoidable hits to your self-esteem. Next time, I’ll more selective about who I date.